National Arboretum

Sunday we took a drive to Baltimore for some lunch at our FAVORITE place. Chaps Pit Beef. SO dang delicious. And yes, we drive an 40 minutes to an hour to get there. SO WORTH IT! I promise. Look it up. 

Then we headed back to DC to see the Arboretum. It's a big garden area, most everything was still dead.. but we mainly wanted to see these babies!!!

These columns are the original columns from the Capitol Building before it got burnt down by the British 200 some odd years ago! The pillars couldn't bear the weight of the new dome so they were moved here! Look how gorgeous!! I felt like I was in Rome. 

 It wasn't near as cold as Saturday, around 45 degrees plus wind chill.. so a little photo shoot commenced! We also got lucky that there weren't a ton of people there that day. So it looks like we got the place to ourselves! But we didn't.. it was the luck of timing! 

National Cathedral

With only a few more weeks left in DC we are trying to hit up some more DC tourist places. This city has ENDLESS things to do. There are a few museums we just won't get to do this time around because of the prices..

Saturday we made a trip to the National Cathedral. It wasn't really a stop D wanted to see but I "made him" go see it!

We rode the metro to the closest stop. It was 3 miles round trip from the metro to the cathedral. It was a balmy 30 degrees plus gusty wind and humidity on the walk... FREEZING COLD!!! That part wasn't fun, but once we got to the cathedral I was geeking out. I LOVE architecture. Especially older architecture. The craftmans ship and art and patience that goes into something like this is just awe-inspiring. I wish I could go back in time and observe the builders and see how they do it. It amazes me.

It cost 10 bucks each to get in, but totally worth it. You can take a tour with a guide if you want, or you can do a self-guided tour with a brochure. We chose the self-guided tour and wandered around.

 Beautiful stained glass windows everywhere!

 You can take an elevator up to the 7th floor to observe the surrounding city. It's SO awesome! I love the archways everywhere

 SO gorgeous!

We walked back to the metro and went up to Bethesda to get some Georgetown cupcakes!! AKA DC Cupcakes for all you TLC fans =) They're Salted Caramel cupcake is DELICIOUS!

 

West Virginia Day Trip!

Last weekend we headed to West Virginia! We have a goal to go to all 50 states, so even a day trip is fine with us! 

A friend suggested to us to make a visit to Harper's Ferry. It's a small town (population 250), with civil war history. Don't ask me about the history part... I was just so enthralled with how cute it was!! 

We parked on the side of the road and walked to the middle of the bridge just for this picture. On the left is Virginia, on the right is Maryland, and in the center where you can see that church, is West Virginia! HOW FREAKING COOL! I'll never get over how close states are to each other here! In Alaska you can drive 16 hours and still be in the same state! 

Lots of little bridges. Apparently when they have bad snow years and lots of rain the city used to flood because the river would get so high. 

The one main road in Harper's Ferry

I'm glad D is so patient with me and our little photoshoots =) 

Each building had a little boutique shop, it was fun to see and talk to some of the locals!

They even had a wax museum! We didn't go in but this is in the window as you walk by. We couldn't stop laughing.

Love these grand churches! I wish our church made our regular church buildings to look like this.

Standing inside the ruins of the original church. You're not supposed to be in there, but we are rebels! lol

Next stop was Charles Town. Only a 10ish minute drive from Harper's Ferry. We walked around to kill time before going to the casino to bet and watch horse races! We browsed antique shops, bought some girl scout cookies, walked around Walmart and spotted Amish people!! It's times like these that I love. No plan, just doing whatever you feel like! 

As we were walking by this court house, a local was on the phone talking loud and said, "I haven't seen her in awhile! Is she in jail again?.... What did she do this time?!" It was all I could do to not laugh!! D and I just looked at eachother like, "uhhhh awkward"

You know you don't gamble much and haven't been to a horse race when you feel SO STUPID asking the cashier lady to help us! Seriously though, we felt so dumb.. 

Our BIG 5 dollar bet on That's BSide The Point (who comes up with names like that?). One horse was called "Kick Ash"! HAHA! 

The one and only "Thats BSide The Point" (blurry... they move to dang fast for my iphone!)

Waiting for the race to start!! The track was SO sloppy and muddy. I couldn't believe how muddy the jockey's got. We only stayed for 2 races then headed home. A good WV trip in my books =) 

Money and Museums!

WAAAAYYYY back at the beginning of February, D and I took a day to see some more DC sites! 

You guys get to see very great quality Iphone photos today! I didn't dare bring my good camera (cameras and photo taking weren't allowed anyways) because we were touring the Bureau of Engraving and Printing! AKA THE REAL MONEY MAKERS! 

 The tour is free and a lot shorter then I thought it was going to be. Probably wise so that people don't go and make counterfeit! They take you through some of the process and you can see through the windows and watch the workers do their thing. I had fun waving at them, you could tell they get bored.

But y'all, the process is SO TEDIOUS! I learned A LOT! Like did you know that money really isn't made of paper?! Yeah, me either. It's FABRIC, and other things combined, but mostly fabric! I couldn't get over that. So money literally, DOES NOT grow on trees people! 

 After, we went to the Washington Monument and rode to the top to enjoy the view. D hadn't done it before so it was a must! Sadly, it went undocumented, but you can see the view here, when I went with my mom and sister in November. Oh, and it was also FREEZING!!! The wind chill + humidity + winter= FROZEN! Being from Alaska, my body temp is always like a furnace, and saying that it was cold... means something! BRRRR!

We hopped back onto the metro and went to the Postal Museum. Seriously, the architecture back East is unbelievable!

It used to be an actual post office and they still have the old mail boxes. Aren't they so cool?!

 They had a ton of old stamps to look at in the museum. Fun Fact: D used to collect stamps! I learn something new about him all the time! Going on 5 years of being together and you can still learn something new about eachother. =) Marriage is fun you guys!

Anyways, they had these stamps at the table you could go through and pick them out. I totally thought they were fake and just for little kids to entertain them, but D proved me wrong! I couldn't believe they were giving free stamps away. I acquired a couple from WW2 and so forth. Pretty cool! 

 They had a whole area of old postal transportation. We didn't stay too long but it would be really fun for kids! There was a lot of hands on activities and what not.

 I'm giving you guys lots of fun facts today! Did you know the postal service has a mascot? Yep, it's this dog named Owney. And yes, this is the real dog! Taxidermied and all!! I don't remember the history but it was creepy. 

 Again, the architecture... so dang cool! I'll never get over it.

When It Rains, It Pours

My life isn't all rainbows and unicorns from what you see on this blog, Facebook, Instagram, etc. I only like to post the positive things happening but you know what, life is life and real shiz can happen.

I've been leaning on other bloggers the last few days that have gone through the same thing. Not to make me feel better, because what happened is tragic. But to make me feel not alone.

I'm nervous to share because it's personal but I want to help others in anyway possible like other bloggers have helped me. This is a pain that can make you feel so alone and I'm grateful to have my husband to grieve with me but others may literally be alone in this... I'm not looking for attention, this is not the attention I want. But there was a life inside of me that passed away and I have every right to mourn and miss my unborn child.

2/17/2015: I'm Pregnant!!! I just found out about 40 minutes ago.

 To preface..... I took a test on Valentine's Day. The day I was expected to start. ClearBlue said it would be 99% accurate so I gave it a shot. It came back negative. I was pretty crushed... So then I had one last hope I would be late. So I was late one day, then turned to two and then turned to four days late! I was still in denial that I was late due to stress and blah blah... but yesterday I woke up super nauseated and gagging over the toilet the majority of the day. I had D give me a blessing that the nausea would go away that night so I would be able to sleep and it literally went away as he was giving the blessing. It was amazing!

I woke up still not nauseous but decided to go to Walgreens even though it was a "snow day" here in VA (6 inches of snow) and got a couple more tests. I didn't take the test as soon as we got back because I didn't have to pee. So I waited a couple hours and decided to take the test. I set it on the counter and told D he can watch it but I wasn't going to.

So I went back to the couch and watch "Let's Make A Deal" and a few minutes later I hear a "WooHOOO! Jordan, Jordan!" I said, "what? Are you serious? You're joking?!" And then I started to cry. Happy tears of course! I'm still in shock. And probably will be for a while...

That's what y'all would've read in May, along with a cute video of reactions and some photos, when we would finally announce my pregnancy to the world. 

But now my world has been turned upside down yet again. I have miscarried. Our baby died.

6 weeks along and we had already loved our baby like we never knew was possible. All the excitement and talk and wondering about our tiny little human. The start of our family is now gone. To say we are sad is the understatement of the year. We are crushed and extremely heartbroken.

We felt so lucky and incredibly thankful to get pregnant so fast as soon as we start "trying."

We called our immediate family and friends and told them the exciting news but also swore them to secrecy just in case THIS happened...

It started on Wednesday. I didn't have work until later that day but something just felt off. I don't know if it was "Mother's Intuition" but I just didn't "feel" pregnant like I had before. My breasts were still sore and all that but I just knew something was off.

Later that night I thought I had started spotting but I wasn't 100% sure.

The next day I confirmed spotting. Google became my best friend and everyone said spotting is normal. But on Friday it started getting worse. False hope is the devil. I didn't want to think about the fact I could be losing this baby.

Saturday is when my world fell apart. I was having extremely achy pains in my lower back and pelvic area all day. Later in the after noon, IT happened. D came into the bathroom and saw what I saw and we both started sobbing. It was the worst emotional pain I've experienced in my entire life. Our baby died. There was no need to call the doctor or anything. We just knew. The rest of the day I don't really remember except for staring at nothing and crying on and off.

As soon as we had confirmed it a miscarriage, I deleted all my apps and "bump" photos. Deleted my secret pinterest boards and anything baby. I've tried to stay away from social media because anything baby that comes up on my newsfeed, my stomach turns.

I finally felt like my life purpose was being fulfilled. I don't have a specific college degree. I don't have a career field. I want my career to be a mommy and that has been taken away from me right now. It's a struggle to put into words the defeat I'm feeling.

Dealing with my parents separation, then divorce, then my dad's fast engagement and marriage soon after the divorce, and now this miscarriage... it's all way to much to handle. Oh, I also have to put my dog down when I get back to Alaska next month. When it rains... it really does pour.

It's only been a few days and I hate to say I'm starting to feel "better" because I'm not better. I'm just going through the motions, a bit zombie like. 

 I'm always going to be wondering what if. In a few weeks I know I'll be thinking, I would've been this many weeks today. When October rolls around, I know I'll be thinking, I would've been having a baby this month. It'll bring back a whole new wave of emotions and pain. I just have to take it one step at a time.

Our family and friends have been really supportive and comforting but nothing can take the pain away.

If the past 2 years of grief and pain has taught me anything, is that I'm one hell of a strong woman.

I'm trying my best to trust in God and trust that He knows what I can handle. I'm thankful I have such a wonderful marriage and a loving husband to grieve with and go through these trials with.

I know I will be okay someday, just not right now.