Experiencing a 2nd Miscarriage

Never in my life did I imagine us going through one miscarriage, let alone two in a row.

This summer was beyond emotional. It was soul crushing and traumatic.

After the first miscarriage we decided to wait until I had two normal cycles to start trying again. 

So when that time came we started trying and again, within the first month of trying I got pregnant.

I took a test June 5th and hopped in the shower while Dallan stared at it. I couldn't even look at it (I did this both times I was pregnant!) The positive sign showed up and Dallan was so excited! I was excited too but mostly hesitant. I didn't document an pictures besides the one below. 

We waited until I was further along than the last time to tell our families. I was hesitant to tell anyone but I knew in my heart I would need all the support I could get if a miscarriage were to happen again.

Next came making an appointment. I didn't get this far last time. I had my first appointment June 8th or so. I got my blood drawn, had the OB intake and all that good stuff. My levels were all where they were supposed to be. We were super happy about that.

During those few weeks leading up to my first ultrasound, I was feeling very pregnant. Felt nauseous all day, bloated, sore breasts the whole nine yards. I didn't complain about any of this because I knew it was a good sign. I was just thankful to be pregnant! 

Then comes July 3rd. My first ultrasound, we were going to see our baby! My anxiety levels were through the roof. I bawled my eyes out before we even left to go to the appointment. Nervous was an understatement. Dallan stayed positive because I hadn't had any signs of a miscarriage and everything seemed normal. I was setting myself up for the worst because of the last time.

As we go into the ultrasound room, we meet our CNM and talk as she gets the ultra sound set up. Since I was supposed to be around 8-9 weeks they did a vaginal ultrasound. I had looked up other ultrasounds online so I knew what it was supposed to look like. Mine didn't look like what I've seen online. They told me I was only measuring 7 weeks (by the dates I should've been around 9 weeks). She asked if I was exactly sure about the dates. I was 100% positive my dates were right. She looked some more and got really quiet. She told me there was no baby, only the gestational sac and that she could see blood starting to form. It's what's called a Blighted Ovum. Our worst nightmare came to life again. I was going to miscarry. 

From that point on I was numb and holding back tears. She did an abdominal ultrasound just to see if there was a mistake. I remember them talking about the options. 1. Wait for it to pass naturally. 2. Take Misoprostol to induce the miscarriage. Or 3. Have a D&C surgery. We could barely think let alone breath but we ended up deciding to wait for it to pass naturally and to call in a week if it didn't happen. Then we would go in and talk about the other options. They let us go out the back to not face the others in the waiting room, which was really considerate of them.

That weekend was a blur. It was 4th of July weekend and I was in denial and shock. My body failed me. 

After the weekend of waiting, I went to our family doctor to get my blood drawn to check my HCG levels for the "just in case they were wrong" factor. I should've been measuring 9-10 weeks at this point but my levels were still at the 7 week mark. So I ended up making another appointment with the OB for that week same week (around July 10th at this point). We go in and she starts talking about my options. I wanted to avoid surgery at all cost. We decided to take the pills home with us so we wouldn't have to go in again to get them and wait one more week to see if my body will miscarry naturally.

So during another week of waiting we decided to give acupuncture a shot. Acupuncture is known to induce labor so I figured why not try it. I had I think 5 sessions. After each sessions I felt major cramping in my lower back. The same cramping I had with the first miscarriage. But alas, my body failed me again and didn't take the acupuncture.

 So next was to take the misoprostol. I googled what I would need, heating pad, prescription pain killer, LOTS of girl things, movies, a notepad to document everything, etc.

 July 22nd: D and I took the day off work (I would obviously not be working that week). I took the medicine as instructed around 9 AM and laid down for a good hour to let the medicine dissolve. According to the doctor, I would feel cramping and I would be spotting within a couple hours. Well I didn't... I used the restroom and the 3 of the 4 pills came out. So that means only 1 of the 4 pills actually dissolved in my body. Which also means it wasn't going to work. In denial I decided to wait another couple of hours before calling the nurse line at my OB's office. 

 My sweet friend left these treats at my doorstep that morning 

After waiting hours with only light spotting, we decided to call the nurses. I told them everything that happened and was told my body didn't get the full dose. So they had another script to try it again but this time take it orally. I had to wait another full day to take the medicine, so we just hung out at the house "just in case" the medicine I had taken decided to work.. It didn't. Talk about an emotionally draining day..

July 23rd: I was prescribed a high dose for round 2 of the meds. I was prescribed to take 4 pills every 6 hours up to 3 times until I started bleed. If I bled with one dose, great, but if not keep taking the doses. I took the first dose with some lunch. 40 minutes later, I felt like I was going to puke, and it all came up. But I still had to wait 6 hours to take it. So I took two more doses with saltines, coke, and gatorade and lounged all day and night. Again.. Nothing happened. We were frustrated and distraught to say the least. 

July 24th: I called the doctor that morning to try to get in to be seen but no luck. I didn't know what to do and I couldn't handle the emotions anymore. I just wanted it to be done and over with! So we headed to the ER in hopes of them doing a D&C that day. We got there and only waited 20 minutes to be called back. They set up an IV just in case a surgery would happen, drew my blood to check my HCG levels, and did an ultrasound. My numbers came back at only 30K vs a couple weeks prior my numbers were at 127K. So yes, they dropped, yes the ultrasound showed no living baby, yes I was miscarrying. I plead with the doctor to take me in for surgery but he wouldn't. Yay us...

Later that day we finally get a call back from my OB and have a check up on the 27th.

July 27th: We go in for the appointment and immediately ask for the surgery. She could tell I was emotionally done. So she told us good news and told us I could have the surgery the next day (28th). We were so relieved and nervous. I hate having surgery, I don't wake up well to anesthesia, I throw up every time I wake up.. But it needed to get done. D's brother was coming into down a week later and we had our San Francisco trip the week after that. We pushed it a little too close..  

July 28th: I had to be in the hospital really early in the morning. I don't remember exactly what time it was all such a blur. They had me in pre-op for about an hour before they took me back. I remember talking to the doctor and nurses in the surgical room. I remember them putting my mask on. I about freaked out because I'm claustrophobic but after two deep breaths the next thing I knew I was awake getting rolled into the post-op area. I was in and out for about 40 minutes after the surgery (it takes me forever to wake from that stuff!), and telling this really nice male nurse that I was going to barf. Sure enough, I threw up. Poor guy. (Seriously, nurses are amazing!) I forget his name but he totally deserves a raise! Dallan came back to get me after I was more lucid. It was another 30 minutes after that when we were finally discharged. 

The rest of the day I was to rest and take the pain killers if I was in pain (which I didn't take any pain killers! Go me!). But....I get antsy if I sit too long, so later that afternoon I made Dallan take me grocery shopping so that I could make mashed potatoes. New flash, you're not supposed to cook until 24 hours after having been under anesthesia. Oops! I didn't drive though!  

 I was pretty crampy. was bleeding and it hurt like HELL to pee for a day because of the catheter. That's what hurt the most that day. I would bite down on my shirt when I had to pee so I wouldn't yell too loud...  The doctor and nurses told me that I will only bleed for about 2 weeks or so but it just depends on the person. Well, because I'm apparently an anomaly statistically, I bled for over a month.  I was on strict pelvic rest for 4 weeks so I couldn't exercise or anything. It was even a stretch for me to go to the cabin with my Brother in law when he came to visit.. In hindsight I probably shouldn't have gone... I was so sore after that trip. 

I finally started feeling like myself again physically in early September. This miscarriage was by far more traumatic and draining then my first one. So much waiting and anticipation. It was all to much to handle. I learned so much about myself and my marriage going through this. It's amazing how each pregnancy can be so vastly different. 

For those who made it through this post, I applaud you. It's a bit gory and graphic, but it's real. This is life. Unpredictable, and totally in God's hands. 

Guide to DC

*Peak travel seasons*

Mid-March through Mid-June & Mid-September through Early November

After living in the DC area for 8 months I feel like I know a lot about the area! We did A TON of things while we lived there. If you've followed along my blog you would know that, but I decided I wanted to make a guide to help you get through DC.

So let's start with "The Mall." When we were moving out here everyone would tell us about "The Mall" and in my head I picture a shopping mall. I had been to DC before in High school but I wasn't moving there so I wasn't paying attention to the maps!  So besides that, we were still moving out here blind.

Here is a map further out. The Potomac River is the border for most of Virginia.You can see the red line that shows you where DC actually is.

Now a bit closer into the map you see this long patch of Green. This, my friends, is "The Mall." It took a bit of studying my maps and figuring out all the lingo when we moved here. So hopefully this will help. "The Mall" is where 90% of the touristy stuff is, which is super nice.

This is the DC and surrounding area's Metro Map. It looks complicated to navigate but I assure you it's SO EASY!! The best public transportation I've ever experienced. You can get to everything in The Mall by using the metro. I'll be sure to tell you when you should drive.

National Mall  All of the museums and monuments are free in this area =)

The Mall is a stretch of about 3 miles. So if you're travelling with children, definitely bring a stroller, good walking shoes, water, snacks, etc! I would avoid visiting during the hot months because fatigue will hit you super fast! This list I've compiled is almost in order-ish starting from the Capitol Building to the Lincoln Memorial.

Library of Congress- This building is actually behind the Capitol building. They do offer tours, but we never got around to do that. I would recommend going inside just to see the building interior. It's gorgeous!! It only took us probably 20 minutes to walk around inside. Children probably won't find this interesting, but I would make mine go just to see it for a few minutes since my Great Grandpa worked here. http://www.loc.gov/visit/tours/guided-tours/thomas-jefferson-building/

Capitol Building- You can tour the building for free! You need passes and you can get them online. I would get these in advanced especially if you are going during the peak travel seasons. If it's not peak, you can just walk in and get passes from the visitors desk. I wouldn't suggest bringing young kids to this tour. You have to be quiet and it can get long for children.  http://www.visitthecapitol.gov/plan-visit/book-tour-capitol#.VU1Qlfm4S70

Natural History Museum- As you walk away from the capitol and toward the Washington Monument, there are museums on the right and left that you'll want to visit for sure! The Natural History Museum is my favorite. It pretty much a taxidermy zoo. Every animal you can imagine. So if you're an animal lover, go here! They also have gems, the Hope Diamond, bugs, and dinosaurs. This is definitely kid friendly but it could take a few hours to get through with kids. So plan accordingly. http://www.mnh.si.edu/visit/

American History Museum- This is the museum everyone talks about as the Smithsonian. It has a ton of war artifacts, presidential things, first lady dresses, Dorothy shoes, and best of all Old Glory. Kids will like this museum. Again, it may take a few hours to get through with kids. http://americanhistory.si.edu/visit

Air and Space Museum- There are actually two of these museums, one in The Mall and one in Virginia. We never went to the VA one, but this museum is self explanatory... SPACE! If you're into space and airplanes, then go here. They have an IMAX theater where you can watch space films, but we didn't want to spend the money and time to experience that. Besides the IMAX, they have a lot of spacecrafts you can walk through and the Wright Brother's plane in there, etc. This also is the only museum that has a cheap place to eat connected to it... McDonalds! We would usually pack food, but when we didn't this is where we would eat. This is a great museum for the kiddos for sure.  http://airandspace.si.edu/visit/mall/

National Archives- The main thing that was interesting here is the ACTUAL CONSTITUTION AND BILL OF RIGHTS! It only takes about 20 minutes to see with a line. So not too shabby.

White House- To get a tour of the White House it has to be a full moon on the 13th month of the year... *sensing my sarcasm?* But for real, it's nearly impossible. You can try by emailing your senators or your House members. Or if you know someone who works closely with them, but other then that... best of luck! You can walk right up to the gate and get a photo but that's pretty much it.

Washington Monument- There is an elevator that takes you all the way to the top where you can get 360 degree views of DC. Definitely worth it! Watch out for the Vertigo though.. I got super dizzy the first time I went up there. Get your tickets EARLY for this especially on peak visiting times. They go fast!!

Reflection Pool- A LOOONG pool that ducks tend to live in.. you have to walk past this in order to get to most the the war monuments and the Lincoln Memorial. It's super pretty and I always, always thing of the Forest Gump scene when Jenny runs into the pool. Don't try it though... people won't be to fond of that.

War Monuments- After the Washington Monument you will walk past a ton of various war monuments. World War II, Vietnam Wall, Korean war and more! Definitely worth your time and sore walking feet to see these. Most are all near the Lincoln Memorial. Be respectful and quiet when you visit these. And don't be afraid to tell a Veteran that you appreciate them! You'll always see at LEAST one wandering around.

Lincoln Memorial- A must see, obviously. The view from the top is gorgeous. and kids all LOVE seeing a huge statue of Lincoln.

Holocaust Museum- Free! But it's pretty gruesome and emotionally exhausting. So be prepared. I wouldn't recommend taking the kiddos there.

Tidal Basin/Jefferson Memorial- I never made it all the way around the basin to get to the memorial. But I know you can go paddle boating in the Tidal Basin. It always looked fun but we never did it. This area is especially cool during the Cherry Blossom season in the spring!!

Bureau of Engraving and Printing- Right down the road from the Holocaust Museum. This is free and runs about 40 minutes long. But you get to see billions of dollars being printed. Highly recommend this one! http://www.moneyfactory.gov/washingtondctours.html

Food in The Mall
As far as food goes in this area, there isn't much besides the McDonald's mentioned above and food trucks. We would always just pack food to save a few bucks. BRING LOTS OF WATER!!! Especially if you're going during a hot time.

Things to see/do outside of the Mall in DC

Postal Museum- This is right near one of the metro stops. Free and VERY kid friendly. Tons of fun activities for kids to do there, like sort fake mail, etc. I even had fun doing that!

Ford's Theater- Close to a metro stop. If you're going during the peak, buy tickets online early! They're only 3-5 dollars. There is a museum downstairs before they actually take you into the theater. They go through the whole story about what happened. It was a bit long, so try and remember that! We were probably there over an hour and a half..  http://fordstheatre.org/home/plan-your-visit 

National Arboretum- Free. Drive here! There is a parking lot. This place was so cool. It has the original columns that used to be in the capitol building, along with gardens and fields, etc.

National Cathedral- Definitely drive to this! The metro stop is 1.5 miles away. This is one of my favorites. It's $11 for adults and $7 for the kiddos. After you pay you can do a self-guided tour and walk around nearly wherever in the cathedral. I love all the architecture and the views from the top.

National Zoo- A must! It's free and close to the metro too! Wear good shoes because it's a good hike to get to the animals once in the zoo. My favorite part is the lion exhibit.

Georgetown Cupcakes- Drive to Georgetown and get these cupcakes! If you've ever seen "DC Cupcakes" then you know what these are. AMAZING!

Ben's Chili Bowl- Right near a metro stop. It's been on a lot of food shows D watches so he wanted to try it. It's been there for a long time. I thought the food was okay. It's cheaper too which was nice for the budget!  http://benschilibowl.com/

***The next few I'm about to mention we never went too.***

Newseum $$$$- This is a spendy museum which is why new never went.. It's about $23 bucks for adults! But if you news, advertising, etc. This may be of interest for you.  http://www.newseum.org/visit/tickets/

Spy Museum$$$$- I always want to go to this one too but the price wasn't right for me at the time. It has different tools and randoms that spies have used in the past. http://www.spymuseum.org/tickets/

Wax Museum$$$$$- Around 20 bucks again. I've never been to any wax museum but I've heard good things about Madam Tussauds.

Crime Museum $$$$- This is closing the end of September! SAD! Now I wish I had gone =(

***Now onto things in Northern Virginia!***

Arlington Cemetery- A MUST! There is a metro stop to here too. When you go, pay for the shuttle that inside the main entry building. I think it's around $5 bucks each, but it takes you to all the highlights because trust me, this place is HUGE! You will not want to walk up those hills.

NRA Museum- Located in  Fairfax, VA. You'll have to drive here. If you're a gun fanatic, go here! Every kind of gun imaginable. It's a self-guided tour. I'm pretty sure it was free.

Mount Vernon- Who doesn't love good ole George Washington?! This is a must and you have to drive to it. It's about $17 for adults. But it's a must. You can walk around all of the property and see his house! There are also river boat rides on the Potomac that cost extra if that's what you want to do too. You can see George Washington's tomb here as well. http://www.mountvernon.org/plan-your-visit/buy-tickets/

**FAVORITE FOOD OPTIONS***

Five Guys Burgers and Fries- Best burger I've ever had! Keep in mind they give you tons of fries, so you may want to share a side of fries with a friend!

Flippin' Pizza-  Best NY Style pizza I've had outside of NY! And it's cheap! 2 slices and a drink for 6ish dollars!


**Where to Stay**

If you've got the money, then by all means stay in DC. But when I go back to visit I will be staying in Falls Church, VA. I know they have a few hotels and motels that I imagine would be cheaper then in DC itself. You can always study the metro map and see which stops have motels nearby to save a dime or two =)


**Dallan wanted me to mention this**

If you're willing to drive a few hours North. GO TO GETTYSBURG!!! One of the coolest places I've ever been. It's an easy day trip for sure.

August

August was a whirlwind. 

Dallan's brother came up to Alaska for a visit! 

Blueberry picking! 

We took a drive on the Seward Highway to Portage Glacier. This is the prettiest drive!

I really wanted Kyle to touch a glacier, so I saw an Ice piece floating not far from the shore and I ran in and got it for him! HAHA! That water is frigid just so you know.

A cabin trip is a must when visitors are in town. So much fun shooting guns off the deck! 

Kyle caught a pink on his first cast! Impressive =)

Sums up my relationship with my youngest brother. I feel bad for people who don't grow up with having both brothers and sisters! 

Took a trip to California. See more of that trip here and here!

Hershey is a huge helper when it comes to Raspberry picking... Just kidding.. she eats them and crushes the plant! Turd.

Sweet little cousin singing me a song.

This old lady turned 11 this month!

Dallan's face says it all when it comes to the game of Sorry. He hates it if you can't tell! HAHA

Let's just take a minute to be amazed at how long my hair is. It's never been this long my whole life!

My cousin Colton and I made a time capsule after graduating highschool and it was time to open it 5 years later! 

The things in the capsule were hilarious, random, and weird.

My cute grandparents. 

The Alaska State Fair is always my favorite. Especially the food! This area was so crazy. It is the honor system with a bucket for money. $5 dollars per zucchini. Pick whatever one you wanted and just put the money in the bucket! No one was manning it or anything. 

Funniest rabbit! 

What a bunch of timber tramps (Lumber jack slang)! Love my brothers.

Dallan was practicing his selfies before his FIRST SMART PHONE came in! 

This show was a bunch of dudes doing cool tricks on picks and other things. This guy brought me back to the 90's!

My cousin Trey and I were picked to go in front of the crowd with a few others because we were the most enthusiastic I guess. So a photo op with the guys after was a must.